Man, you could have reassured him that the deeper secrets would never be freely available on the Internet and muttered about telluric currents and qlippoth for a few lines. You could have driven him crazier with desire to learn of Teh Grate Secritz!
Sling in a couple of references to the Golden Bough and make a point of dismissing Crowley as a charlatan and you've hit pretty much all the bases and can guarantee yourself a slavering acolyte.
Got to love people who believe in Deeper Truths. By and large, they're hilarious.
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